once, twice
and once again
I do deny you
and instead turn inward
to the core of me
this sacred home
where gazing out
through shuttered windows
I see
I have changed the shape
of my shadow
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moving
layers of a life
peel away and are deposited
in black bags
tied in knots
and abandoned
taken by the weekly service
in a parade of flies
and unhappy smells
fruit salad
making fruit salad
my lifeline glows
in mango juice
I imagine
deep and auspicious meanings
magically
wielding the knife
the orangy liquid
runs down and wraps
around my wrist
to the pulse point
a sacrificial bracelet
the moment of dreams
passes
and I
drop the mango pieces
into cold
stainless steel
sea sound
sea sound
the gentle shushing
wave against the shore
my world contracts
and I
cocooned in salty silence
slide
into the sand
little mother
sitting
in a green chair
the little mother
marks time
in half hours